Written by Liz Lake
Produced by Cameron Roach
Directed by Laurence Moody
Footballers' Wives kicks off its fourth season with a relaxing team holiday in Spain. The top quality golf courses, sexy female golf caddies and picturesque poolside villas make it the perfect way for the lads to unwind before the new season starts. Bruno Milligan, the Sparks' latest signing, is as up for a laugh as the rest of the lads - what his wife Lucy doesn't know won't hurt her. Meanwhile, Tanya returns unblemished after her spell inside HMP Larkhall, but she's not the only one about to give birth. Amber is also carrying Conrad's baby and, along with her dog Krishna, she is seriously getting on Tanya's nerves. But Tanya has a secret fear that the baby she is carrying is really Frank's. Convinced that Conrad should never find out, she has a cunning plan up her sleeve and starts the ball rolling by crumbling up a tablet into Amber's drink to send her into an early labour.
As the day moves on, the lads party. The female caddies are up for a laugh and there's booze and flirting by the hotel pool. Amber is in a different kind of pool - she's determined to be an earth mother and have a water birth. Tanya's not one to be left out and pays her consultant to do a caesarean there and then - but why would she want to have her baby at the same time as Amber? All becomes clear when Amber's private midwife is revealed to be none other than the sinister Nurse Dunkley! Amber is delighted when she gives birth to a bouncing baby boy, but her joy soon turns to concern when Nurse Dunkley rushes him away. Meanwhile, Tanya is disgusted at the sight of her baby, he's Frank all over. It's a good job that she's arranged for Nurse Dunkley to swap Amber's baby with hers - she will be the mother of Conrad's son after all.
The antics by the pool are getting seriously steamy and Conrad, oblivious to the dramatic events back home, orders everyone back to his villa for some privacy. Conrad is soon enjoying himself with one of the caddies, Katie. Bruno walks in on the action and, impressed with what he sees, approaches her later and suggests that she have a threesome with him and Darius. She is drunk enough to agree to his request. Later, she tries to leave the bedroom but is prevented from doing so by a man who goes on to rape her. In her drunken state, she doesn't see her attacker's face. As Conrad learns that he is the father of two sons, Katie goes to the police and reports the rape. When the team are prevented from returning home, Hazel is forced to jet out to Spain to sort out the mess. Although she is appalled by the state that Katie is in, she is still able to overcome her moral judgment and persuade her to drop the case in exchange for a cash settlement.
Shannon goes to see Harley at his flat - she needs to know that he isn't a rapist. Harley gives her the company line about the rape, but does admit to snogging someone that night. Although Shannon is clearly devastated by the news, it means that Harley has now equalled the score - all she did was kiss Darius - can't they call it quits? Harley tells her that he thinks they've both changed too much for that. However, when a young girl comes onto him at a PR event, it emphasises to him the shallow world he lives in and he finally decides to reconcile with Shannon.
The rape is in the forefront of everyone's mind. The team are so unsettled that they suffer a crushing defeat at home. Noah, who has recently seen the homophobic attackers who beat him up in the last series go to jail, is still suffering a barrage of insults from the terraces. Darius, as insensitive as ever, demonstrates to Noah what inside, he knew already - the world of football isn't ready for an openly gay player. But soon Noah's prayers are answered when he stumbles across a group of people who may be able to help him exorcise his demons - a ministry who claim they are able to cure homosexuality! Roger also hasn't escaped the fall-out from Spain. Jackie is fed up with being treated like his PA and tells him so. Realising that he is on the verge of losing her, Roger shocks her with a marriage proposal.
Tanya begins to panic when Hazel notices that her baby son, Troy, is looking a bit brown. She knows that Amber has done a paternity test on Troy and won't feel safe until the results come back. In the meantime, she persuades Nurse Dunkley to cover Pundarik (her real baby) in fake tan to make him look darker like his 'mother'. Luckily, Amber is somewhat distracted - her dog, Krishna, is getting jealous of the attention that his mistress is giving to her new baby. When the results from the paternity test finally arrive, Amber holds her breath as Conrad opens the envelope. As he and Tanya thought, they prove that Troy is his son. But then they are disturbed by a dreadful scream. Nurse Dunkley stands over Pundarik's crib where all that can be seen is a still baby arm under a mound of dog. Krishna has smothered Pundarik!